i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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