We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
