Whatcha textin bout Willis?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
