i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
