hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
