I hate all girls vehemently.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize