it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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