I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
