DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
