Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
