he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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