i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
what day is it and did you see me today?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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