This is not my ceiling
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
