He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
COCAINE IS GR8
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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