We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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