Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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