i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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