you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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