I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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