You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
