dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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