But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
