oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
