I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
