the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
