like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
