I cockslap morals
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
