I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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