You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
