i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
