perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
