he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
