you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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