you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
