I wanna bring you to show and tell
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
