I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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