break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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