Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
