my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
