You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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