small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
