That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
