so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
