ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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