Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
