Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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