Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
