I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
