Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
