yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
