I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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