just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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