I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
