Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.

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(480): View more from Arizona

oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.

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(530): View more from California

Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds

(1-530): View more from California

Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.

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(+65): View more from

He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?

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(303): View more from Colorado

other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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(314): View more from Missouri

I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy

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