the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
