I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can't put those talents on a resume
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
