What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
